The first time I dealt with real loss, losing someone very dear to me, I found myself unable to leave the bed for an entire week. Most losses come about as pure shock, you were not expecting to mourn and your body wasn’t prepared for it. This may be why it causes greater shock and why it may be more difficult to recover.
The initial emotions that come with loss are grief and guilt, followed by numbness. There are times when you may feel distant or shutdown. Understand that this is okay and that you will heal.
Here are some steps you can take to help you heal faster:
- Keep to your usual schedule. You may think it selfish to get on with your life but it is important especially in times of grief to take care of yourself. Above all, the person you lost would have wanted you to be happy. So honour their wishes and live your life.
- Grieve properly. Denial will slow the process down and when the truth finally hits you, you’ll be in greater pain. Take the time to grieve properly, don’t rush it and don’t deny the pain that you’re feeling. It’s okay to cry sometimes, you can’t be strong all the time. Understand that and don’t be too hard on yourself.
- Talk to someone. Talk to someone close to you, someone who will understand what you’re going through. You shouldn’t have to suffer alone.
- Be grateful. This may be the most difficult phase in your life and you may feel that there is no room to be thankful. However, this is not entirely true. Just the fact that you are grieving proves that you have lost someone very special. Thank this person for the wonderful years you got to spend with them. Which brings me to my final point…
- Celebrate their life. Finally, look back fondly on (and share) memories with your loved ones and think about all the things that this person accomplished in their life.
I hope this helps a little. Just remember that you are not alone – we all go through losses and difficult phases in our lives. But you’re strong and you will get through this.
Lots of love, Nina.